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♥ CLARISSA ♥

what if what if what if [Jan. 27th, 2010|12:56 am]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |Mariah Carey- Hero]

Well, I really have absolutely no time for anything but work BUT I'm itching to do this post so badly so here it goes...
First of all, I am perfectly sane, driven to the state of insanity due to some inhabitants of the earth. But its so not worth it becoming a mental patient due to such trivial and unimportant matters (there's way too much to sacrifice..my life long ambition, shopping and my social life e.t.c.) so don't worry, Clarissa will never go crazy. Sometimes I wonder why certain crises would occur and I will never fail to come up with a million what ifs.

WHAT IF I couldn't care less about anything and everything
WHAT IF I am attached
WHAT IF I had a thousand pair of shoes :)
WHAT IF I had a younger sister
WHAT IF I was homeless
WHAT IF I had an existent daddy
WHAT IF I was in another course, another school
WHAT IF all my dearest bandits/recess bunchians were schooling in NP too (y)
WHAT IF everyone were robots, emotionless
WHAT IF I could shop everyday and had a personal exclusive shopping mall
WHAT IF I lost my anger and slapped someone (haven't done that, doubt I will ever. lol)
WHAT IF I could lose fats at a mega rate, even faster than those I consume
WHAT IF I was from a mixed school all my life 
WHAT IF I had a cotton candy machine

the list can go on and on and on...but the one I love the most is this: WHAT IF I had a billion dollars for the rest of my life
( its the best 'WHAT IF' because of the answer I have in mind: migrate to another country and travel around the world along with treasured friends and family!)

Okay, I'm certain that most people around me are stressed up and all edgy cus of work and what not, but just persevere and bite the bullet as all of these crappy shit will end soon enough. On a lighter note, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU (you know who you are) I CAN'T WAIT TO GO SHOPPING! I CAN'T WAIT TO GO OVERSEAS! I CAN'T WAIT TO BAKE! I CAN'T WAIT TO COMPLETE SOME PIECES ON THE PIANO!  I CAN'T WAIT TO START PRACTICING YOGA! I CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE!

xoxoxxo,
Clar <3
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Idk Idk Idk [Jan. 9th, 2010|01:25 am]
[Current Mood | cold]
[Current Music |The All American Rejects- Gives You Hell]

I don't know what's up with me nowadays, all the work to complete seems too overwhelming and I feel like I'm just getting lost, forever moving aimlessly, wondering if everyone is as lost as I am. It's scary, it really is..I just hate the this phase of school a whole lot (especially attachment, which I totally dread and start counting down to the time I can leave - once I step into the centre). GOD PLEASE HELP ME make it a little easier though I've not been good and missed so many weeks of church :/ stressed much.

Sorry to the friends whom I took forever to reply text messages, emails or whatever.. my mind is really wonky I just feel like throwing my phone into the bin and ignore the world somehow.

This is not the right time to make me pissed for any reason, I swear I will really blow my top like you've never imagined. I just did, at some disrespectful children. They really need to learn about manners and have more empathy. Thanks to them, my day started off on a rough note.

I have a weird feeling bout this year.. kinda bad and shaky start. Hope it ends well.

xoxo,
Clar
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can't get pass 2009 [Dec. 30th, 2009|11:16 pm]
[Current Mood | blah]


well..My photoshopping skills are kinda sucky (I tried to photoshop the people who weren't present..but it turned out wayy too freaky so I decided against that idea.lol..we'll just imagine that Farah, Ethel and Eunice are there!)

yay..I'm finally feeling a lil better to come up with a decent blog post before year 2009 ends! I fell victim to some sorta virus and got really sick since sunday :( It really sucked, I don't recall being this ill before..Terrible
Okay, I shall be honest, its 5am on 1st Jan 2010 already and I didn't manage to be well enough to complete the post. haha..I still feel like its 2009 though, ain't any difference. Guess I feel like 2009 was left hanging..kinda reluctant to countdown actually, cus I see no point counting down to the next year when the previous year feels incomplete. I can't really list down reasons specifically to why but that's just how I feel. And I'm definitely not going to set resolutions...screw resolutions! I hardly ever follow through..at most for the first 2 months? I think the fever went too high up and degenerated my brain cells, I'm kinda wondering what I wanted to blog so much about and I can't remember..It's been too long. On a lighter note, I'm just grateful for the people around me, every single one of you whom I treasure so much, I won't need to name names, I'm sure you yourselves would know :) I will blog again when I remember what I wanted to say (If I actually remember that is.)
xoxo,
Clar

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? [Dec. 26th, 2009|03:37 am]
I so need to post a few entries to bimbology, but that'll take time cus its been too long! I've got to figure out which event I should begin with..Lately, I've been so super busy with christmas preparations and having fun,I can't really be bothered to start on all my work and pack my room (which resembles a pig sty)Nonetheless, I wish every one a MERRY CHRISTMAS & a HAPPY BOXING DAY [I always thought it involved people boxing each other literally..like for fun. haha]
xoxo,
Clarissa
Link1 cupcake|Cupcake

OMG. PANIC ATTACK. [Nov. 25th, 2009|11:06 pm]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |Miniature Disasters-KT Tunstall]



HAHAHA. I opened my email and The first thing I saw, email from standard charted, "You can't escape..." LOL. I was shocked I swear, thought they could track lazy, fat, unmotivated people who signed up virtually..lol! Its so ironic cus its some discount thing so you can carbo load and eat to your heart's content. Seriously, I don't need to carbo load, my body is nothing but fats and carbs and sugar..HAHA.

10 RANDOM THINGS cus I feel random right now
1) Hmm, today was a BIG day I guess, been preparing it since like forever, its my field supervision day-this Dr. person sits in and evaluates my lesson. scaryyyyy sheat. THANK GOD ITS OVER, don't really care if I did badly though she said she won't fail anyone. PHEW.
2) When I was teaching the children today, I got injured and didn't even notice. lol. (I turned back and the edge of the white board scraped the left side of my body..no biggie, but I can't believe it scraped through my shirt and the side of my bra. LOL)
3)When I grow up I wanna be someone useful and not useless.
4) Bus ride/dinner/train ride with mates was awesome, though I think I was irritating the shit outta everyone(esp.ruth! sry :S) I was so tired beyond tired I felt sorta delirious and high..I could laugh at anything and sing a song about anything and become totally retarded I thought I was mad. haha
5)I think I'm having severe mood swings today, I have no idea why.
6) I'm too full, ate too much for dinner.
7) I don't like it when people assume too much, that's just plain annoying.
8) I feel like going for a morning jog tmrw. wow, rare. (I have not been jogging for like 12 days I think?)
9) I'm soooo glad I met jenny coincidentally at simei mrt after like 10 000 years. hahaha!
10) If Colbie comes to Singapore I will definitely go for her concert :D
xoxo,
Clarissa
Link2 cupcakes|Cupcake

HOUSEWIFE IN TRAINING [Nov. 19th, 2009|02:50 pm]
[Current Mood | blah]
[Current Music |The best day-Taylor Swift]



WOW, I finally feel like blogging after so darn long..School's been draining physically and mentally! Really hate this sem's modules, think they're all pretty much useless (Except this psychology module which I kinda like). In fact, I think of all modules, IT may be one of the most useful as I get to learn how to use movie maker, adobe photoshop and stuff. For an IT idiot who hates using anything too advanced, its quite interesting I must say. Not to mention, the lecturer is so darn funny/lame, I really can't differentiate it anymore. Here's something she said "Go and open the file you did last week, 'my first movie' not 'my first kiss' ah" like LOLOLOL. hahaha. And she named her windows movie 'the life of a loner' hahaha. She made us download a lot of free software from the net and one of them was named 'LAME encoder' or something like that. hahahahaha. Okay, I'm just being random and saying what comes to mind. hahaha. I was 1 hour late for her 2 hour lesson just now.

Right....ANYWAY, back to the point of this post..I've been wanting to post about it since like 2-3 weeks ago but I was too lazy to upload the photos. hahaha. So I decided to make it a productive IT lesson today and brought the memory card to class and finally got the photos up in Elgie:D Basically, this post is gonna be about the 2 weeks when my maid went back to Philipines and I automatically became a housewife for that period of time..Bet everyone at school got tired of me complaining about having to wash the dishes, freaking out about my clothes hanging out in the open when it started to rain etc. hahaha, I loved every bit of cooking and preparing food for my family (actually more of my mum cus bro's only back on the weekends) BUT I absolutely detest washing the dishes and cleaning up...I hated washing the clothes but I loved hanging them on the bamboo pole to dry :D :D HAHA. I loved sweeping the leaves on the front porch but I hated emptying the rubbish bin! well, well, I see this post is lacking of organisation but I'm just too lazy and tired to bother so I trust that people who actually bother to read this can assimilate the information here efficiently despite the mess. hha!

How to be a housewife for dummies )
This paragraph is hereby dedicated to my complains. I hate how I don't have discipline with absolutely anything and everything...whether it comes to diet, exercising plans,cca, or assignments and projects...I just ain't got it right just yet. I've been feeling so annoyed these days because of nothing I guess. (guess its the terrible weather?) And when I'm feeling pissed, I'll just sleep my day away or do something unproductive to cheer myself up. Oh well, I've been down on my luck as well. Fancy getting a cut on your heel because of a China pedicurist..or how about kicking your toe accidentally while going up the stairs which resulted in a purple swollen toe. AND I've not started training for a 21K run in Dec :S Kill me now.

xoxo,
Clarissa
Link6 cupcakes|Cupcake

WHY DO I FEEL SO AWAKE..its HUHH-LOW-WIN!!!! [Oct. 15th, 2009|04:23 am]
[Current Mood | bouncy]
[Current Music |Bob Marley- Turn your lights down low]


ahahahahha, its almost 5am and I still can't sleep...had a really whacky day today. Got up at 10am, ate breakfast, fell asleep on the couch while watching cartoons, then got up at 1pm and felt hungry so I got myself some cereal with choco milk :D [see how it resembles the lifestyle of a human-pig] Then I headed upstairs, turned on Elgie[my laptop], watched random vids on youtube, FB-ed, packed my stuff for later, walked to grandma's house(in the rain) to get the kimono for the halloween partaye, coincidentally met mum at the driveway (she sent my grandpa home from the doctor's) YAY, got a lift from her to Tiff's and along the way, had proper lunch at 3pm plus. Met cheeky( Tiff's dog) at the doorway, and helped around with packing the snacks and making oreo spiders. haha :D Tiff put in a lot of effort I must say! From the snacks to the deco, all well thought out :) thanks bum! So....after we're done with everything, we ventured out to get a cab to the chalet and guess what, we met this obnoxious cab driver who made us lug all our stuff in his cab and then told us he can't send us to two places(cus I needed to stop by my hse to get stuff) ARSEHOLE, both of us were soooo pissed. Shortly after, we got another cab, the white mercedes one-the driver drove terribly! We were feeling so dizzy and nauseated by the time we reached our destination..omg, bad bad journey-the way he swerved and all! Alright, so with the help of some bums, we put up the deco :) Then after a while headed to change..being Geisha sure is tough! The Red Indian and Fairy Princess helped me :) I'm so sick of powder now..haha! Its surprising how I didn't choke on Johnson's baby powder or get suffocated by it!! haha. We went down and saw the rest of the fantabulous funky outfits of the people present, rather entertaining!! There was the Explorer dude*think Christopher Colombus?*, Robin hood, Phantom of the Opera dude, Greek God, bandaged mummy, Blacked-eyed pea, little mouse, tiger...and the list goes on! So my mum kindly fetched me home(cus she didnt want me to stay over) Saddening I couldn't spend the whole time there!!! Well, I had fun while it lasted! After I got home, I happily washed my face so my pores can breathe. LOL. Headed for supper(My dinner of the day) nearby soon after and after bout an hour, home sweet home! Bathed, used my Elgie, watched movies and I still ain't tired enough to fall asleep...I'm so bored of everything I can do on Elgie so here I am typing this really boring and long-winded, totally disorganized, rambling post which most people will not understand. hahahahaha. That's my day past 17 hours for you :) and a public note to self: I should totally start doing something productive in the last 4 days of hols! Something like working out to lose all those flab...haha. Or maybe pack my room which looks like some pig sty(that explains my piggish demeanor!
Photos of a 2megapixel cam, so don't expect much )

xoxo,
Clarissa


Link10 cupcakes|Cupcake

all brained out [Oct. 5th, 2009|12:05 am]
[Current Mood | full]

Hey folks who actually bother to read bimbology. hahaha. I've just been thinking very deeply about identity issues for a moment..sometimes I just hate how my mind wouldn't stop thinking about circumstances which may or may not happen or how it generates questions which I cannot find the answers to straightaway. You're probably thinking that I'm psychotic now!! hahaha. Oh well, anywayy, I've been thinking a lot about why humans bitch about other humans, I'm indeed guilty of that and I'm sure everyone's guilty about it too, even guys! So, after much fascination with that topic, I came up with the conclusion that the act of bitching is nothing unusual because all of us living on earth are not clones. And apparently, it is sort of a tool to find some common ground with others if you need something to begin with..(C'mon its the 21st century, we can't possibly start a conversation with "The air is sweet and the grass is green..such beautiful weather aye?") The bottom line is that speaking ill of others, sadly, is inevitable, unless you're some saint I presume. But of course, taking it too far just transforms you into a monster. Hopefully, this act will remain tamed and will not cause too much destruction. [I think I might have been watching too much of GG. hahaha]
xoxo,
Clarissa
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♥ Dream on ♥ [Sep. 24th, 2009|02:32 pm]
[Current Music |I have a dream]

I really wish I didn't have to get outta bed at 11.30am today, for I had one of the best dreams I can actually recall quite vividly in my entire 18 years of dreaming :D I have no idea why I can dream of something so super random.. its just perfectly strange. haha. It's like you're sitting on the soft sand of Hawaii's Waikiki Beach somehow, you don't know how you got there, but you don't care cus its all too perfect!! Well, my dream was pretty short yet memorable. Here it goes: I've got my driver's license somehow, and I'm sitting in a car. (An electric Blue SAAB convertible. I have no freaking idea why its that brand of all brands!! Electric blue, probably cus I always thought that colour was hot. haha) I do recall saying to some friends, "Hey!! Let's go for a spin!". Everyone gladly agreed and I zoomed off, the scenery was absolutely beautiful and with out hair flying wildly in the wind, all of us looked gorgeous with shades on. hahaha. After that moment, I was at home, then my brother said, "I got you something from the IT fair" and placed an electric blue Ipod Nano onto my palm (Okay, I was always happy with my creative zen but perhaps, subconciously, I want a nano or smt. Idk. hahaha). Apparently, I was super shocked cus of all people, my brother. LOL. But I thanked him graciously and scooted off to explore the device. hahahaha

Here's the exact car I dreamt of!!

That nano.

What a strange blue dream I had. Loved loved loved it! hahahahhaha

xoxo,
Clarissa

Link9 cupcakes|Cupcake

Directions - a sense which I kinda lack [Sep. 16th, 2009|02:26 am]
[Current Mood | amused]
[Current Music |Almost-Bowling for soup]


Well folks-those who got to know me through ballet, concert band, cheerleading, track&field and muay thai...Joining all these activities definitely spiced up my life a whole lot, meeting new friends, learning new skills-those I never thought I could ever accomplish and what not. I loved every moment of the activity while it lasted :) Truth is, I lack a basis in life for me to stay in one I suppose. I'm really bad with directions (as most of you would know)
The definition of Pastime: An agreeable activity with which you pass the time. So, the point is, I have many pastimes, dancing, baking, jogging/running/jumping, swimming, Yoga, watching teevy, playing the piano and GuZheng(chinese zither thingy), concert band-ing, cheerleading, cam-whoring, muay thai-ing, reading, writing, singing, partying, simply hanging out with friends and family ( not in any particular order of which I love the most, its just random) As for the CCAs which I'm obliged to attend regularly as a member, I would ask myself from time to time, "why do I join this activity?" and if I can no longer give myself a valid answer, I would leave.
1)PIANO- Starting learning it when I was 6, left when I was 12.I didn't join on my own free will. Mum wanted me to have a musical background just because she didn't have the opportunity to do so when she was my age. Nonetheless, I've grown to love and appreciate music, but never really did well in the practicals (No talent in this aspect, I concluded) In the PSLE year, she asked me to quit ballet so as to focus on piano and the exams, I protested like mad, and convinced her that ballet is my life and I would die without it. Mission accomplished, I continued with ballet :D I still love playing the piano though
2) GU ZHENG- My primary school CCA! hahaha, I loved the melodious sound when plucking the strings of the instrument...I didn't continue with it after leaving primary school though. Guess I didn't see any prospects of continueing so I didn't bother taking classes outside school. The instrument was still lying around, collecting dust though..until recently, it got dumped in the store room due to space constraints. lol.
3)SWIMMING- I used to live in Bishan and the swimming complex was nearby I suppose, got signed up for swimming classes by my mum if I'm not wrong..she decided it was best for me to learn how to swim in case there's a flood. LOL. kidding. aiya, I think its common to learn how to swim when you're young yeah? Anywayyyy, I think I stopped learning this when I was 7 or 8 years old, after I shifted to the East when mum left dad. I do remember I was gonna take up the bronze medal course thingy when I left..hahaha
4) BALLET- My passion and pastime since I was 6 years old, stopped going for classes after completing grade 8. Now that I think of it, it was a really dumb reason to quit. hahaha. [I got sick and tired of the super biased teacher] After about a year since I put on my ballet shoes, I'm really reconsidering taking up classes again..we'll see bout that.
5) CONCERT BAND- Since I left the piano world, I wanted to keep in touch with music :) I remember having a really tough decision to make in secondary school. I got into modern dance as well as band [well, I was convinced by audrey liaw to join band..almost half of sec 1/5 joined band I think..] So....I've grown to love the French Horn and its melodious sound! hahaha..life in band was totally awesome..those good ol' days when we have cup noodles together in the canteen after CCA, making the last person who finish clear all the empty cups! ahaha. HAWAII days, SYF days...Well, sadly, alumni band didn't quite work out I guess. Since I made the decision to take up a CCA which required more physical activity in Poly, band became a distant part of me. (I still ought to visit Cindy and Jeanette one day though..hahaha)
6) CHEERLEADING- It was the perfect CCA to join since everyone I met in poly established that I was a B.I.M.B.O. lol. I'm just kidding okay. Well, I've heard of the formidable Magnum Force before entering NP, and decided that I would totally love learning the sport, so it was my first choice! Believe it or not, it was one of the reasons why I so gladly entered Ngee Ann Poly. hahaha. Those fun times!! My first handstand, cartwheel, shoulder stand..Also, my first time injuring my finger due to a retarded fall from a hand stand, which led my mum to believe cheerleading was gonna make me paralyzed sooner or later..Had a long long argument with her about making me quit. Well, I had to leave in the end. :( I was totally depressed for a period of time.
7)TRACK- After leaving cheer, I joined my second choice. I was contemplating whether or not to join it because I never really had a burning desire to compete in events and what not..I guess the lack of motivation and passion which I thought could grow as long as I dutifully attended trainings never really grew. Wait a minute, what am I saying "dutifully attended trainings", okay, I seriously had terrible time management with Jap classes and 7 undesirable modules and did so many projects last minute, some of em started just barely 24 hours before the dateline..so, I ended up sacrificing all activities just to complete the assignments and all. Ended up MIA-ing for so darn long. Entered the phase of 'should I leave or should I stay' So I asked myself that burning question mentioned above. Well, I've been really wishy washy about it but I've finally decided I do not have a valid answer to stay on.
8) MUAY THAI- Let me see...the first time I went for training was to accompany Isabel cus she was really interested in it. We made a pact, she'll accompany me to track orientation and I would do so for muaythai. After training for a while, I realised it was an awesome form of art to learn for self-defense as well as to release stress. However, I really don't see myself going far here, it occurred to me how I kick and punch weird, sometimes in a ballerina-like form :/ We'll see about it then.
9) TILL FURTHER NOTICE- possibly ballet again? Leaving the world of dance is officially haunting me..I was packing my room and stumbled upon an old concert DVD so I decided to watch it. Man, I really am dying to dance all over again..maybe contemporary, jazz, somewhere along those lines. Yoga? perhaps..tried it before, think it really helps with balance and strengthening the core, and maybe it'll improve the condition of my back (scoliosis, they call it)
CLICK HERE!!! )

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